I wish I could disappear forever. I’m tired of my life, and I’d kill to just start over… with different everything. Like a second chance, but without me killing myself and being resurrected. I’m sure we all felt like that once in our lifetime, but mine is totally real. It’s like; either I find something or my ticking time clock will blow up.

So, work has been the same.  What I hate the most is how everyone talks about each other behind their backs, but are the first one saying “I wouldn’t talk about you like that, if I had a problem with you, I’d come to you first.” Why are people so fickle? Like, seriously. I’m told a lot about what so-and-so doesn’t like how Jane Doe doesn’t do this and that and blahblah, and the other times I’m just there doing something while they’re talking about who-knows-who. I feel like monkey in the middle, really. I’m friendly with all my co-workers. I guess because of that, they find me to be a person who can hold a secret – which I can… very well. So I get a lot of “this person is ……” and sometimes I hate listening to it because I feel ashamed, knowing that I spend time with that person, and I don’t know why would they be brought up in a bad way – maybe it’s ‘cuz I’m so gullible too. But also, I wonder if I’m being spoken about behind my back as well, and if I am, I’d love to hear it!

So, I tend to screw everything up. I don’t know what I want really. It’s like… I want something different, but at the same time, I want it to stay the same. And I know I can’t have both, but why can’t choices be easier to choose instead of making me go insane!!

I think I’m done… + lappy is running out of battery

Currently Listening One X By Three Days Grace see related